Parents often come to me feeling like they have tried everything.

You may be dealing with:

• Frequent arguments or power struggles

• Intense emotional reactions

• Anger or impulsive behavior

• Anxiety or avoidance

• School refusal or difficulty getting to school

• Shutting down or refusing to communicate

• Difficulty setting limits without escalating conflict

• A child or teen who becomes overwhelmed very quickly

• Self-harm or other concerning behaviors

• Different parenting styles creating conflict between caregivers

• Feeling unsure when to validate and when to hold a boundary

• Feeling like nothing you say comes out the right way

Parent coaching gives us a place to slow these interactions down and understand the patterns underneath them.

Instead of focusing only on "How do I get my child to stop doing this?", we also look at "What keeps happening between us, and what can I do differently that might change the pattern?"

1. Dialectical Behavior Therapy teaches a balance between acceptance and change.

   This balance is especially important in parenting.

   Children and teenagers need to know that their emotions and experiences make sense. At the same time, understanding a child's feelings does not mean approving of every behavior or removing every expectation.

   In parent coaching, you may learn how to:

   • Validate your child's emotions without reinforcing ineffective behavior

   • Stay regulated when your child is dysregulated

   • Recognize when a conversation is becoming unproductive

   • Reduce escalation and power struggles

   • Communicate expectations more clearly

   • Set and maintain effective boundaries

   • Reinforce behaviors you want to see more often

   • Respond differently to avoidance, shutdown, anger, or impulsivity

   • Repair the relationship after difficult interactions

   • Model emotional regulation and effective communication

   One of the most important ideas I teach parents is that validation and boundaries can exist at the same time.

   You can communicate, "I understand why you feel this way," while still maintaining, "and this is what needs to happen."

Family conflict rarely comes down to one person being the problem.

More often, families become caught in patterns.

A teenager becomes upset. A parent becomes worried and pushes harder. The teenager feels misunderstood and becomes more defensive. The parent becomes frustrated and increases the pressure. Eventually someone yells, shuts down, or walks away.

Everyone may have understandable intentions, yet the interaction keeps producing the same painful result.

Drawing from DBT and Functional Family Therapy, I help parents look beyond who's "right" or "wrong" and identify the patterns that keep conflict going.

We can then work on changing one part of the pattern.

Sometimes a relatively small change in how a parent responds can significantly change what happens next.

Validation is one of the most useful—and most misunderstood—parenting skills I teach.

Validation does not mean:

• Agreeing with everything your child says

• Giving your child what they want

• Removing consequences

• Ignoring inappropriate behavior

• Letting your child make all the decisions

Validation means communicating that you are trying to understand your child's experience.

For example:

"I can understand why you're disappointed that you can't go out tonight. You were really looking forward to it. The answer is still no."

Both things can be true.

Your child's disappointment makes sense and the boundary remains.

Learning how to hold both sides of that dialectic can reduce unnecessary conflict while helping parents remain confident and consistent.

Parent coaching is practical and collaborative.

Rather than spending the entire session talking generally about parenting, we can take situations that actually happened during the week and break them down together.

We might look at:

What happened?

What was your child feeling or trying to communicate?

What were you feeling?

How did each person respond?

What happened next?

What could you try differently next time?

From there, we develop specific strategies you can practice at home.

Depending on your family's needs, sessions may focus on DBT skills, validation, emotion regulation, behavior patterns, reinforcement, boundaries, communication, problem-solving, or preparing for situations you already know are likely to be difficult.

The goal is for you to leave sessions with something concrete you can use—not simply a better understanding of why the problem exists.

Your child does not necessarily need to participate for parent coaching to be useful.

Parents have significant influence over the emotional environment and patterns within a family. Changing how you respond can sometimes begin changing an interaction even when your child isn't ready to participate in therapy.

Parent coaching can be provided on its own or alongside your child's individual therapy or family therapy.

If your child is already working with another therapist, parent coaching may also help you develop skills for supporting the work they are doing in treatment.

I am in-network with Aetna and Anthem. Coverage for parent coaching can vary depending on your specific plan and how the service is provided. I recommend confirming your behavioral health benefits before beginning services. Private-pay parent coaching is also available.